Thursday, June 26, 2008

PORTER :::The Last Airline In The World

WITH AVIATION FUEL PRICES skyrocketing out-of-control …and with Canadian and US Governments adopting a do-nothing approach…only Porter airlines will be in business by this time next year.

PORTER AIRLINES flys the Bombardier Q400 exclusively which of course sips gas from a “sippy cup” and therefore should be able to survive through the present GAS COST CRISIS.

Never Was An Arrow II was able to reach, T.O. Tal Lybogus, Director of Aircraft Acquistion for Porter Airlines, for comment, on the present gas crisis facing the airline industry.

“Currently, Porter has a fleet of 7 aircraft. We are consulting with our investors and Bombardier Aerospace to begin the purchase process to aquire an additional 1,000 Q400 aircraft within the next 5 years! We have space limitations here at Toronto Island Airport and can currently only “house” 17 total aircraft.

Still, we can’t worry about that now, as we expect to be picking up routes all over North America, as legacy airlines drop like flies…unaided by their respective Federal governments. Their loss will be our gain. We’ll just have to assume their footprint at the various airports.

The Q410 “Snowbillian” while presently in the experimental testing stage, will be needed shortly to service northern and Arctic destinations. The aircraft is outfitted with snowmobile-like treads and there have been some issues. We have asked Bombardier to get the “lead out” and fast track the airplane through to certification because we really need those five damn “snowgoers” by this time next year…when we calculate Air Canada will finally collapse as a northern sector provider.”

“Tal” certainly seemed to be a man under a lot of pressure.

From his chair, he used a lot of hand gesturing to get his points across.

He was sweating profusely the whole time, pausing only to "dab" himself periodically with a beach towel. A beach towel! As he talked about “having to” assume United and American routes when these airlines finally buckled, his eyes rolled back, and he passed out. Twice.

I don’t think it ever occurred to him that Porter could just stay as it was.

It was certainly the most intense interview I had ever participated in.

I really hope he makes it through…to the end of the week.

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